If I could turn back time.... actually Cher, I'm not sure I would

Welcome back,

This one’s going to be a bit deep, folks. So if you came here for a morbid reality check—hi. If you came hoping to see photos of me dressed as Cher from the “Turn Back Time” video… sorry, that’s weird and you’re out of luck (yeah, I’m talking to you).

So why the recent deep thoughts about time? Honestly, I’m not sure. Time is something we’re all limited on, yet we waste so much of it. We cruise through life doom-scrolling social media, wishing our lives away just because it’s Monday. We avoid doing what we love because we’re scared of what others might think, or we delay it out of fear—fear of failure, fear of judgment.

We’re so busy trying to take the perfect picture for our reels that we let actual life pass us by. And the more I think about it, the more I realise how much of mine I’ve wasted.

Fair warning: this post jumps around a bit. A few things over the past month have had me reflecting on life, time, and how we spend it—and who we spend it with. This isn’t a “I know better” blog. If you’ve read any of my previous posts, you’ll know I’m just starting my journey toward self-improvement and better wellbeing. A lot of what I’ll touch on here, I’m guilty of myself. But I’ve started noticing these things, and well… it gave me something to ramble about.

Wasting Time Worrying

During a coaching call a few weeks ago, we talked about how much time we spend worrying about what other people think. Someone mentioned a podcast that claimed nobody knows who the Sphinx in Egypt was built for. It took years to build, people died in the process, and it was supposedly based on one of the most important people of the time—yet now, no one remembers who he was.

Now, I’m not sure how true that is (I always thought it was Pharaoh Khafre, but I could be wrong), but the point still stands. We spend so much time worrying about what others think. If those people are ones we love, trust, and respect—listen to them. But if not, is it really worth it? I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s not. It won’t matter in the long run, and people won’t remember it once we’re gone.

This blog was one of those things. Of course, I want it to be well received, inspiring, and helpful—but if it’s not, that’s okay. I started it to help me. So why should I worry about what others think before putting it out there?

Rob Dial Jr. often quotes a stat: out of 100% of the things we worry about, 83% never happen. Of the remaining 17%, 14–15% happen but aren’t as bad as we expect. So only 1 in 33 things we stress over actually happen. It’s impossible not to worry, but we should be selective about what we waste our time and energy on.

Live in the Now!

Next up: our inability to enjoy the present. Gigs! I love going to gigs. But they’ve become a horrifying example of how we struggle to be present. I’m not against taking a photo or two, but we’re at a point where people record entire concerts on their phones—videos they’ll rarely watch again.

It’s not just the younger crowd either. A few years ago, Jen and I went to see ELO at the Hydro. A woman in her late 50s or early 60s recorded the whole concert on her iPad and shouted at someone for walking in front of her camera to go to the toilet. Madness.

I used to be the same. I’d stumble across old gig photos and think, “I can’t remember that part.” Now, I take one or two pictures—usually during a slow song or one I’m less into—and that’s it. I’ve promised myself I’m there to enjoy it. Screaming my lungs out, bouncing through the gig, and finding the rare few doing the same—kindred spirits.

On Monday, I went to see one of my all-time favourite bands, The Gaslight Anthem. Despite being riddled with man-flu, I sang every word. Then came their biggest hit, “The ’59 Sound”… and phones went up everywhere. Why? When are you going to watch those videos again? You can find them on YouTube, Spotify, wherever. We’re so obsessed with capturing moments that we forget to experience them. We need to learn to enjoy the time we’re in. As Garth told Wayne…

Tell Me Who You Spend Time With…

The third thing that got me thinking was a post by Sahil Bloom (via Rob Dial) showing charts of who we spend time with over our lifetime. I’m not sure of the source or accuracy, but it hit hard.

The charts show age across the bottom and hours spent on the side.

Two things stood out:

1. The drop-off in time spent with friends and family. I lived at home until my early/mid-20s. I loved spending time with my family and was well looked after by my mam. In later years, I was in Scotland half the time. But that time didn’t always feel like “quality” time. It was just the norm. Sunday lunch at my Nanna’s was the only regular family meal. Then I moved to Scotland and went from seeing my parents daily to a handful of times a year.

Same with friends. I’m lucky to have lots of friend groups, and I’m still close with my school mates—even after nearly 15 years away. Some of them I’ve been best mates with for 33 of my 37 years.

Has this changed how I value time with them? Honestly, until recently, no. Maybe I was a bit more excited to see them, but I didn’t appreciate it as much as I should. Now, even sitting on the sofa with a cuppa watching crap TV or my dad’s Westerns for the 90th time—that’s time I’m going to value.

2. The increase in time spent with co-workers and alone.I’m in a love/hate phase with work. I’m proud to work for the NHS, but it feels like the focus has shifted—from patients to politics and pounds. It’s made me ask: “Do I want to spend my time working for something that no longer aligns with my values?”

On top of that, I’m losing most of an amazing team at the end of the month. I’m nervous about who I’ll be working with next and how that will affect the value I place on my time at work.

Soon, I need to decide: is it worth my time? We often delay change because it’s uncomfortable or scary (or because we care too much about what people think—remember point 1). But if we want change, we need to go for it. Learn from failure. Persist when it’s tough. Ask: “Are the people around me adding value to my time?” If not, maybe it’s time to make a change.

So What’s the Point?

It’s simple: we need to add value to our time to enjoy the value in our time.

Live in the moment. Appreciate the people you value. Next time you’re with family, friends, at a concert or football match, watching a sunset—whatever it is—take a moment to appreciate yourself and your presence in that moment.

Leave the phone or camera alone. Forget the Instagram, TikTok, or Snapchat content. Just enjoy it. Enjoy being you. You are fucking amazing—and you need to take the time to realise it.