She's a bitch and he's such a dick... And on Wednesday's we wear pink

People Are Such Moany Little Bitches

I'm not sure if I'm just becoming more acutely aware of it in older age or whether the exposure to negativity and anonymity of social media has made it more obvious but people are such moany little bitches!

This whole post is probably going to make me sound like holier than Jesus Christ's post cross palms and that's not the intention. However, when did the human default become tearing someone down rather than building them up?? Even to the point of lying about things.

I'm not saying I've never said something about someone who isn't present but I make sure I do not say anything that I haven't said to them in person or that I've been irritated by someone or something they've done to impact me or my close family. I increasingly find myself purposely play devil's advocate and stick up for it from the other person's perspective when I'm sitting within a gossipy conversation. Even to the point or being the brunt of jokes about "sitting on a righteous fence post".

2008 – The Escape

Back in 2008, I ended up travelling quite a lot. Considering I was in my 2nd year of university at the time, I spent 5 months out of the country. I visited Belgium, China and the States. The latter being about 4 months, 4 months with ultimately changed my life. The main catalyst for the decision to travel alone was ultimately to escape soul draining negativity that surrounded me.

I'm from a small, working class village between Durham and Sunderland which is reminiscent of the TV shows Cheers... The place where everyone knows your name and the main pastime is getting pissed in a boozer as there's nothing else to do. It's where everyone is related or in a relationship, and it wouldn't be a surprise to find out there's a venn diagram connecting the two. Queue duelling banjos.

There's a lot of great people there but unfortunately this insular, action-less environment leads to boredom. And it is here where gossip thrives and where judgement carpools it for the journey. In late 2007 I started to notice about 95% of conversations I'd have would be about other people. Unfortunately the positive stories were becoming less and less frequent. Simply, I didn't want to be part of that.

The Same Patterns… Again

What is sad is I'm starting to notice similar patterns emerging for communities that I'm now part of. Although it is similar it is also different. It's not driven from social boredom and gossiping housewives but born from blind judgement and disagreement. It feels like it's becoming increasingly difficult to disagree with someone without it developing into a drama.

We don't always have to agree. That's great. Life would be boring if we did. But respect the fact that people are allowed to have different opinions or approaches to things. I do think there's a line at disagreement with intent to manipulate for personal gain but that's for another day and a another rant about social media. If people do disagree, don't look to cause unnecessary drama for attention.

Perspective Matters

While I can’t stop you from tearing people down, if I am with you I will continue to challenge you in what you when you do. This is me providing perspective. You are unlikely to know the full story and you are even less likely to know what those involved are going through.

I'm not telling you don't be annoyed or frustrated by people and their actions when they impact you, but the important part is that they impact you. I encourage you to cut the gossip. Ask yourself 'does this have any bearing on me or my loved ones?' and if the answer is no then put the cat claws away forget about it.

Don’t Be a Dick

We don't need to ridicule others to feel better about ourselves. Basically don't be a dick!! It's not good for you or the people you're talking about. We don't need to be in the Mean Girls and be wearing pink on Wednesdays.