What's the value in values? Influence of the social media on actions

Alright folks,

I hope you're all keeping well. Given the whole "pursuit of happiness" thing I’m going for here, I’ve spent a fair bit of time reading books that fall under the ‘self-help’ or ‘self-improvement’ category. One theme that keeps coming up is the importance of knowing your values.

I’ve also spent a lot of time on Instagram recently. I was encouraged to share more of my fitness journey, push myself out of my comfort zone, and support my goal of starting a side business as a... and I hate this term... life coach. That experience has made me realise two things, particularly in the last few weeks:

1. The people we interact with online have a significant influence on how we behave in the real world.

2. I clearly value food, cats, and dogs more than 99% of other things in life—based on my feed.

Now, I know what you’re probably thinking: “Obviously people online influence people in real life—they’re literally called influencers.” Fair. But what I hadn’t fully appreciated was just how much, and how easily, a single post on Facebook or X can shift someone’s values—or at least how they present those values.

While reading about values, I came across a definition by T. W. Hippie: “Values are conscious or unconscious motivators and justifiers of actions and judgment.” In other words, they’re the building blocks of how we think and what we say. But how well do you know your own values?

A Moment That Made Me Reflect

During the recent riots in the UK, a family member shared a Bible quote on Facebook. I’m not going to get into the riots too much—I don’t think the bigoted and racist scum involved deserve the time of day, especially when their actions overshadowed the remembrance of the three children who were tragically murdered. That said, the timing and content of the post are important to my point.

This family member is a Christian. They stopped going to church a while ago, but God and religion are staples in our conversations. They’ve attended online forums to discuss faith (or at least they used to—I think they still do). They’re a kind and caring person who’s done a lot for

others, especially me. So this isn’t some EDL thug.

The quote they shared was from Deuteronomy 28:43–44:“Foreigners who live in your land will gain more and more power, while you gradually lose yours. They will have money to lend you, but you will have none to lend them. In the end they will be your rulers.”

Given the state of the country at the time, this really concerned me. Here was a religious person—someone who holds Christian values like respect, responsibility, self-control, honesty, compassion, thankfulness, perseverance, humility, loyalty, and faith—appearing to nod in agreement with right-wing figures like Nigel Farage and Tommy Robinson.

What struck me even more was the abundance of Bible verses that say the opposite. For example:

• “And you are to love those who are foreigners, for you yourselves were foreigners in Egypt.” (Deuteronomy 10:19)

• “Do not forget to show hospitality to strangers, for by so doing some people have shown hospitality to angels without knowing it.” (Hebrews 13:2)

• “Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling.” (1 Peter 4:8–9)

This got me thinking: What are our true values, and what are actions driven by perceived values? It brought me back to Hippie’s definition—values as motivators and justifiers.

Turning the Lens Inward

It also made me reflect on my own values. Why do I hold the ones I do? Are they truly mine, or are they shaped by how I want others to perceive me?

For example, I’m generally a people pleaser—sometimes to the point of making my own life harder to accommodate others. But why? What value drives that trait? Is it friendship, status, popularity, love, harmony, fairness, fear… the list goes on.

I strongly identify with honesty, helpfulness, and inclusivity as core values. But what if I hadn’t taken the time to reflect? Could the underlying value behind that trait have been influenced to change? And if so, would that have changed the trait itself?

The Influence of Social Media

The internet—especially social media—can be a wonderful thing. But it can also be dangerous. Sharing a post might seem harmless, but it can have serious consequences. There’s a massive chasm between the person writing it and the people affected by it—and that gap widens with every click of the share button.

It gives people the illusion of distance: “I didn’t write it, I just shared it.” But that needs to be challenged. Movements like MAGA or the EDL rely on everyday ignorance to spread misinformation—and unfortunately, it works.

So here’s something to think about: Before you share something online, pause. Ask yourself why you’re sharing it. Consider your values and whether the message aligns with them. Don’t let it be too easy to just click “share.”

Final Thought

Bit of a heavy one today, but I felt it was needed. On the flip side, another family member recently commented, “Love comes naturally. Hate is taught.” That’s definitely something I’d rather build my values around.